


dear sister

by allp_wips



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-06-02 05:19:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19434733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allp_wips/pseuds/allp_wips
Summary: Astra writes letters to Alura.





	dear sister

Dear sister,

It has been some years since I last wrote to you, although I don’t think you mind. The dead aren’t likely to measure the passage of time the way the living do, after all.

Do you remember when I first learned to write with pen and ink, Alura? I remember how you laughed when I handed the first such letters to you, when I came back from my first mission in Arcturus II. What I never said, although I think you understood anyway, was that we were stationed deep in hiding on the planet, in the deepest forest, tracking the insurgents down. Contact with the outside world was forbidden, and more of us were dying day by day. My commander at the time advised us to write, both to clear our heads, and to keep a record if any of us made it out. I suppose I should have addressed those letters to Non, but it was always your name that came out, when I set pen to paper. 

Why did I bother, Alura? Why did I spend what spare time I had writing to you of things that happened to me, when I had no way of knowing I would even survive the mission to hand those letters to you?

Because some part of me still believed in Rao then, I suppose, though never as fiercely as you. Some part of me believed that if it was meant to be, I’d come back to you, and to Kara.

And here, on this overlooked planet that even the most exploratory of our cartographers had never bothered to map, something miraculous has happened to confirm that faith.

Kara is alive.

Kara is alive. And, thanks to her sister, thanks to Agent Alex Danvers, I have a second chance to know her, to care for her, to love her as I wish you were here to love her, Alura.

I have been wrong. And worse, I’ve known that for some time now, and failed to adjust my plans accordingly. 

That night, on that rooftop, Alex gave me a way out of the prison of my own making. It’s the greatest gift that I’ve ever been given.

Alura, how many letters have I written to you now, that I never sent? With anger and grief, during my exile from Krypton. With despair and loneliness, from Fort Rozz, even after you were surely dead. And now, decades later, I put pen to paper again. Why? If you are in Rao’s light, as Kara believes, then you already know she’s alive, and what has happened to me. You wouldn’t need my letters.

Why, then?

Perhaps simply because I have missed you, sister.

\---

Dearest Alura, 

She is the bravest woman I know, but Agent Danvers doesn’t know how to take defeat honorably. Today she demanded that I train with her at the DEO, and when I defeated her soundly even with Kryptonite acting on me, she demanded a rematch. Repeatedly. When I refused the fourth time and turned to leave the room, she jumped on my back and started pummelling me with her fists.

She is a ferocious woman, Alura. It should relieve me, to know that Kara fights alongside someone like her. Someone so fierce, so ready to take blows for the ones she considers her family.

It is not relief I feel.

When I first landed on Earth, twelve years ago, I remember despairing at the powers this yellow sun granted. Why here, decades after my planet was destroyed, had I been given the sort of powers that would have allowed me to save it? What was the use of such godlike powers, when there was no one left to save or protect? If Rao was real, he’d never play a joke so cruel.

Now, there is Kara, alive and brilliant, and too trusting for her own good. I wonder if that was the reason why, Alura: to protect her and those she considers close to her. I’d wondered before, why you chose to send her to a world so remote and ignorant of the universe. Now, I see that their ignorance has helped her survive.

Whether you meant it or not, you sent her to a family that has loved and protected her as one of their own, to a father who gave his life for her, to a mother who raised her as her own daughter, and to a sister who’d go to war for her. We have both had our differences, Alura. We have both made mistakes. But, you gave Kara her best chance, and I love you for it.

I have to go now. I am avoiding Agent Danvers, so that she does not attack me again, and Kara has promised to take me to see a Star War tonight, whatever that might be. She promises that I will like it.

\---

Dear Alura, 

Today, Alex defeated me in the training room. 

We did three rounds, and she bested me in the third one. I tried telling her that I must be feeling poorly from tracking down the rogue wyvern sleeplessly the previous night, but she simply laughed in my face. I think I liked it better when she was a little wary of me.

Kara has been deliriously happy all week, because her first article has been accepted for publication. Your daughter has your way with words, even if she does not - according to her employer - share your zeal for spelling.

Between her employment at the cat’s organization, and her work at the DEO, she seems to be stretched thin, because she requested my help today. She wants me to go to LCorp next week and keep an eye on Lena Luthor, who seems to be under some sort of threat. Some research has shown me that this Lena comes from a family that despises people such as Kara and I. Perhaps I should be wary of Kara’s fondness for her, but I suppose I know something about being the black sheep of a family.

Alex has agreed to temporarily release me from probation to keep watch over Lena, as long as I wear a tracker on me at all times. I have agreed... for now. 

\---

Dear Alura,

Today, Agent Danvers got injured protecting Kara.

I am sorry, sister. I was away in another city, tracking down a rogue replication of Myriad. If I had been there,  I would have I could have

Agent Danvers jumped in front of a Kryptonite bullet that was meant for my niece. She said it barely grazed her, but I could smell the blood on her uniform, and see how pale she looked.

Alura, do you remember that you once told me that Kara has the heart of a hero? She does, and her sister is no different.

Alex refused the aid of the DEO doctors, but I followed her home, and after some bribing - she made me agree to spar every day with her - she let me take a look at her injuries.

I think she was surprised at my proficiency in cleaning and wrapping the wound up, although she hid it with some snobbish comments about my dressing skills. I let her know that it was something that all Kryptonian soldiers learned sooner rather than later. She seemed surprised, although I don’t know whether it was because of what I told her, or that I’d told it to her at all. 

Alura, I know that by the rules of Krypton, she is not family. Yet, seeing how much she cares for Kara, and how unused she seemed to having her own hurts tended to, is it wrong that I wish her to be a part of mine?

\---

  
  


Dear Alura,

Today, I was allowed to roam free in the city as long as I wore my tracker with me. I threw it away as soon as I left the DEO, of course. But, I didn’t leave the city.

Sometimes, I wonder why I don’t. Leave, that is.

The answer is Kara, of course. I trust her, perhaps more than I trust myself at the moment. She thinks I should get to know Earth before I develop designs on saving it, and I suppose I’m coming around to seeing her point of view.

I did get a series of irate message from Agent Danvers for throwing the tracker away, as she attempted to track me down throughout the day. I was a bit too distracted by my excursions through the city, to reply.

I’ve been learning some new things about this world, Alura. I thought I knew about their financial systems, but it’s much more complex on the ground. They do utterly primitive things like paying for things with little pieces of metal and paper that pass for money. The inefficient mechanisms of their commerce mean that one often stands for long periods of time in “queues”, in order to pay for simple things like beverages. Utterly primitive, as I said, but undoubtedly fascinating. I was standing in line to pay for a “coffee”, when some youth behind me tapped my shoulder and informed me that I looked like the wife of some disgraced ex-world leader. I’ll need to read up on this.

Alex did not catch up to me until my visit to a geological museum. Upon her arrival there, she informed me that the tracker I had thrown away was just a decoy, and that she had sewn the real one into my uniform. I should be annoyed by her cunning. The fact that she took me around the museum and explained it all to me is probably why I was not. Yes, that must be it.

It is clear, hearing her talk, how much Alex loves the study of science, in its many forms. Many times through the course of the tour, it occurred to me to wonder if she regrets not pursuing it further. Being tied down by the daily demands of the DEO cannot possibly leave her with enough spare time to continue it. 

Regardless, it amazes me how much she knows of the universe outside, for someone from this ignorant planet. What does it matter how many times she loses to me in the training room, in the face of brilliance like that? When I told her that, she simply smiled, and looked away at another exhibit. I suppose she was thinking about the few times she defeated me. That always seems to make her smile.

\---

Hello Alura,

I have not had time to write at all this week, because I have spent most of it guarding Lena, as Kara requested. In the past five days, I have prevented two attempted assassinations, one bombing, and intercepted a biological weapon mailed to her. 

When faced with all of this, Lena Luthor’s response was to remark that her brother had not surpassed his previous record of nine attempted assassinations in one week. I know you often said that you found my sense of humor to be macabre, but humans - as the saying goes - bake the cake.

I can see why my niece sent me to guard Lena so closely, but I have also gleaned some interesting information in the process. Lena showed me some of the projects that her company is working on. One was a device to detect alien lifeforms, which set my teeth on edge until she informed me that it is being donated for exclusive use in emergency medical situations, to determine the best method of care needed for a certain species. Apparently, it was a conversation with Kara that had inspired Lena to pursue that application. 

Perhaps we judged this place too early, Alura. Humans can be hateful and destructive, and I’ve seen many instances of those behaviors since I landed here. But, for every such example, there is also a Lena Luthor and a Cat Grant.

And an Agent Alex Danvers.

\---

Dear Alura,

The rules of this world are arbitrary, and impossible to understand.

Kara informed me that today is referred to on Earth as “Valentine’s Day”. According to her, it is the day that you give gifts to those around you that you like. She also told me that such gifts often involve flowers, especially pink and red ones.

She left out one very crucial detail, however.

Alura, of course I like Alex. She is brave, smart and a fierce fighter. And of course I like Director Lucy Lane of the desert base, and her second in command, Agent Vasquez. And of course I like Cat Grant too, with her sharp wit, and her unerring ability to guide my niece.

It was natural, was it not, for me to bestow roses and chocolate upon all of them, as a token of my affection and gratitude?

Apparently not, Alura. What my niece failed to mention me is that, most often, such gifts are granted in a romantic sense, and interpreted as such. 

Kara has not stopped laughing at me all afternoon, despite my protests. More worryingly, Alex has been smirking at me in a self-satisfied way throughout the day, even though I have repeatedly tried to explain to her that the roses were a misunderstanding.

I have decided that I hate Earth and every living being on it, Alura.

\---

Dear Alura,

Today, Alex got truly angry with me.

She had been foolhardy enough to charge into a Cadmus ambush, spurred on by unreliable information on her father’s whereabouts. By the time I found her, she was facing gunfire from a dozen Cadmus operatives. Given the differences between our bodies, it was the strategic thing to do, to put myself between her and them, until Kara arrived with backup. The bullets glanced off me, of course. I suffered nothing more than minor injuries, from a kryptonite grenade that one of the operatives had brought along. All my bleeding was internal, and you know that’s where the blood’s supposed to be.

It was nothing, and yet, when we were back at the DEO, Alex was absolutely furious with me. Considering her own recklessness, I informed her that she was being rather hypocritical and unreasonable. I am sure you would have agreed with me, Alura, though it only seemed to make her angrier. Kara eventually had to fly in and intercede.

I have to admit, the fight disconcerted me more than I had expected. It has been many months since we considered ourselves enemies, and we are of a similar enough disposition that serious arguments do not generally arise between us. Until now. 

Later, after we had made up, Alex offered to look at my injuries. While in the ward, she told me about what had happened to her father, when her family had taken Kara in. I wish I had known, before, just how much she and her mother have lost, in defense of Kara. It astounds me, how much love they have for her, still. Astounds and humbles.

\---

Dear Alura,

Today, we dealt with the last of my fellow inmates at Fort Rozz.

It has been the work of the better part of two years, getting everything squared away. Most of them chose the DEO’s offer of probation, the same granted to me. It was an offer that would never have been granted without Kara’s influence; she truly is changing the world, Alura, little by little.

Many of my fellow inmates who took the offer have been integrating into society, under the Alien Amnesty program. It surprised me, how many of them took up that offer. All this time, I wonder how many of them wanted no part of my plan or Non’s, and merely went along because they had no other choice. These are questions I find myself grappling with more and more every day. I know they won’t go away. They are another regret that I will have to learn to live with.

Non was one of the few who resisted all overtures of peace until the very end. Thought we had parted a long time ago, it wasn’t easy fighting him. He shared so much of what I went through, in Fort Rozz. 

Alex sought me out after the battle, and Kara as well, but I flew away, to take hold of my storming thoughts. Maybe writing to you will help me to reconcile a man whom I once considered my closest friend, with the one who tried to kill Kara. It’s my fault, really; I was too soft with him. I should have kept better rein of him, of them all. 

Instead, I find myself left with only regrets.

\---

Dear Alura, 

As Krypton exists no more, calculating the ahmzets and lorahs according to its orbital period is meaningless.

Yet, even as I become accustomed to measuring time by Earth’s standards, some part of my body still keeps to Kryptonian rhythms, as it used to do even when I was deployed offplanet. 

Sister, I need no calculations to know what today is. Today will mark 27 ahmzets since the destruction of Krypton. 27 ahmzets since a sister was taken from me, and a family from Kara. 27 ahmzets since a world was erased from the fabric of the universe.

I spoke with Kara in the morning, but she left to be alone afterwards, which I understand. In the afternoon, it was Alex who found me in the training room, and manhandled me into the death trap that she considers a mode of travel.

“Kara can’t bear to see this, but you might like it,” is all she told me, until we arrived at our destination.

Our destination, as it turned out, was the most powerful telescope available to scientists on this continent, to which Alex had received access via the authority of the DEO. When she had calibrated the telescope, and asked me to see through it, all that greeted me was a single indiscernible dot in the sky. I knew immediately what it was, of course, though it was so far away that even my eyesight could not have picked it out of the sky without aid. 

“That is-”

“Krypton.” Alex confirmed.

She explained that the light of Krypton’s destruction had not yet reached Earth, on account of the lightyears of distance between them. Through the view of that telescope, no matter how distant, my homeworld was visible, although if I flew to that exact location in a pod, I would find only a radioactive minefield of asteroids. 

It was something that I’d not thought of before, and I don’t know how long I stared at the pale dot, before Alex eventually led me away, explaining that our access time was up.

“I thought you’d like it,” she reiterated, as we left the building.

I’m still mastering Earth’s languages, but I think I would say that I appreciated it, rather than that I liked it.

After that, Alex discreetly left me alone for the rest of day, just in time for Kara to find me once more. My Little One was distraught, and I spent the rest of the day by her side. I suppose it’s easy for others to forget, sometimes, what Kara has been through. If I am glad for nothing else, I’m glad that I can be beside her at times like these, offering what comfort I can.

And, for all the years that I couldn’t be there, I’m glad that someone as wonderful as Alex was around to support her.

\---


End file.
